Dec 31

2013 Farewell – Welcome 2014

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2013-14As I reflect upon the past year, I have a swell of emotions that come to the surface. I have laughed (a lot), cried tears of joy, and tears of sorrow and learned more about myself than I could ever imagine. I have realized that I am a lot stronger that I thought I was, mentally, physically and emotionally. I found an amazing job that I truly enjoy, and I am at  peace for the 1st time in a long time.

I have learned that I am a very trusting person – sometimes too much so. I believe in 2nd, 3rd and 4th chances for people, when others would most assuredly give up on someone. I believe in humanity and love. I wear my heart on my sleeve and am not afraid to love. Yes, you risk the chance of getting hurt and getting your heart broken (over and over)…but if you don’t open yourself up to love, you’ll never find it.

I have learned to live in the present and get over the past. If you live your life with anger, hurt and regret, that is what you will always be caught up in. I don’t have time for that or anyone who is set on living their life that way – life is too precious and way too short to live in the darkness. Look at what is in front of you – don’t miss out on something amazing because you are immersed in self-pity and anger. OPEN YOUR EYES – IT’S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!

For me, 2014 will be an opportunity to completely open myself up to all the possibilities that life has to offer – no regrets, ever. I am feeling so excited about the New Year and welcome 2014 with open arms, open eyes and an open heart. Thank you 2013 for the lessons in love and in life – I am a stronger person because of you, but I am not sorry to see you go. LOL.

Happy New Year!

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Oct 22

Decisions

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quote-never-make-permanent-decisions-on-temporary-feelingsAs we move through our existence, decisions need to be made throughout the entire journey. Decisions about everyday things are commonplace and must be made on a daily basis. Other decisions we make could possibly lend to shaping the futures of ourselves and others in our lives. And then there are those decisions or choices we make that change everything…forever. Those decisions are permanent, so think with you head and NOT with your heart. Just sayin’.

I have never been one to sit idly while life passes me by – I just can’t, it’s not in my nature. If you don’t want to enjoy the ride called life, then I may not be your favorite person. I will never be content to rely on where I am at this particular moment, I want it to grow and flourish and bloom and I don’t see the problem with that.

Maybe I wear “Rose-Colored Glasses” or maybe I am the eternal optimist…I really don’t know, or care. What I do know is that I look forward to the first snowfall every year – for very personal reasons. I love to go the The Fudge Pot and get Caramel at midnight. I cry when I watch Steel Magnolias and if I see a hopscotch board drawn in chalk on the sidewalk, I dare you to try to keep me off it!

Some people may say that I don’t know what I want or that I am too picky or whatever. I will never settle for anything less that my heart’s deepest desire, when I find it I will know it, no matter how long the search lasts. And when that time comes, I will have to make some decisions and I hope that I get to make them with someone. Until then, I will make my own decisions and choose my own path, no matter what the outcome.

The universe has been kind to me and given me guidance throughout my life and I have no reason to feel that will change anytime soon. So here’s to good (and bad) decisions.

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Jun 19

A new year…

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shellie_bday

Well, it’s finally here…today is my birthday. I remember while I was growing up, and getting so excited about each and every birthday. I could pretty much count on a cake, presents, and being surrounded by people that love me. I wish every child could feel the joy and love that I felt as a child.

As the years passed, and I grew up and had children on my own…the excitement of having a birthday paled in comparison to my childhood. I relished in the birthdays of my children and my partner at the time. I actually dreaded June 19th because I knew that I could not stop time and the years just seem to fly by faster and faster. I felt stuck in a cycle that had no way out.

This last year of my life has been filled with extraordinary challenges – basically since my last birthday. So much sadness and loss, but I always tried to see the silver lining and know that things could only get better. With the love and support of some amazing individuals, I am now at a place where I feel very complete and ready to move forward in all aspects of my life. For the first time in YEARS – I actually looked forward to today…my birthday.

I have learned so much about myself and, both good and bad…but I learned nonetheless – which is always a good thing. I am single, alone…but not lonely, and there is a HUGE difference. I am opening myself to possibilities, and I have learned that I really needed to be okay with myself before anyone else could be okay with me…and I am.

As the wonderful and oh so sexy musician and songwriter, Brandon Boyd of Incubus, would say…

And in this moment…I am happy.

Always – Shellie

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Dec 31

Goodbye (and good riddance) 2012

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2012 was challenging to say the least. This year brought me sadness, poverty, heartbreak, death and depression. I have never in all my life imagined that I would be in the position I ended up in this year. I have always landed on my feet during challenging times and have never been “down” for that long. Well, welcome to reality.

I dream. I learn. I love. I live. I survive…somehow.

I have been “lost” since January of 2011 and have only now begun to find my way back, to be comfortable with me. I have loved hard and lost even harder. I put myself out there only to be shut down time after time – but you can’t give up. The only way to succeed is to challenge yourself, and to continually put yourself out there, no matter how much it hurts. I lost the love of my life, my puppy Molly, who loved me unconditionally, as I did her. Such as sweet baby girl who brought me so much joy and love. The first dog I ever had…and I gave my heart away completely to her. Rest in peace my sweet puppy. I was laid off and it took 6 months get another job – never happened to me before – ouch. I considered other routes to end the continual pain, but thank God I did not succeed.

2013 is the next opportunity I have to get back on track…never give up. I am grateful for the blessings I have and the people in my life that have shown me true friendship and love. I can only say that I will not disappoint in the coming year. 2013 watch the hell out because I am going to succeed and I am going to survive, and I will love and be loved again.

I bid adieu to 2012 and welcome 2013 with open arms.

Shellie

 

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