Oct 20

dreamFor as long as I can remember, I have had very vivid dreams at night. I can remember them most of the time, especially if I have the opportunity to talk about them with someone upon waking. During the last two weeks, my dreams have crossed into a line of reality-confusion, kinda not knowing what’s real and what’s not. Sometimes these types of dreams can be very pleasurable and at other times highly disturbing. Some of my dreams send a very clear message, which tell me I am on the right path and others just scare the crap out of me with a big flashing “DANGER” sign.

Right at this moment, I am still shaking because of a not so pleasant dream, yeah I guess you could say it was a nightmare that took over my sleep around 4am – which caused me to wake up in full panic mode. It felt so real and I was still thinking it was happening when I woke up. I haven’t been this frightened in a long time, and I felt like I had ZERO control over my own situation. Maybe this all ties in together with a situation I have been involved with for a couple of years that is now threatening my chance for real happiness in the future. I know that (if anything does come of the threats) the person or people involved are only ultimately hurting themselves. I feel very betrayed and taken advantage of, but it is my own fault that I let this situation continue for so very long. I am deeply hurt and saddened, but it is what it is.

On a lighter note – some of my other dreams have made me feel very safe and protected. I had the same dream twice in one week…I hate spiders, really can’t stand them, and my dream had very menacing spiders which were promptly destroyed by the person in my dream. I felt so safe – like I haven’t felt in years, which was a great feeling.

I do love the fact that I dream vividly and remember – but right now, I wish I could forget the last 12 hours.

written by shellie619 \\ tags: , , , , , , , ,

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